Ampersand

Throughout my years on earth, I've looked for ways to define myself. It's not easy. What am I? Who am I? The interesting part is that someone else has already defined me. It's in the books I've read. It's written down. Why haven't I figured it out? I'm looking for the answers that can explain me. And I have none. It would be an easy life for me, I think, if I didn't think. If I just let the world revolve around me and not struggle. I've done that. But, for me, the struggle is the life. In the attempt to try to define myself, I keep coming up with new verbs, nouns and adjectives. Many are good, but I usually focus on the bad definitions. The ones I need to work on.

If I wanted an easy life, I would have one. I've had an easy life. And the clearest definition of me at that time was "dead". Most of my life has been hard. So, that's what I cling to. That's what I know that is me. I even thought I could be the 27th letter in the alphabet. Something that doesn't exist. But it does. Everything always exists.

Ampersand. That's a symbol. Not a letter. But in my summation of it, it means "And....what else". You don't need more than what you have. You don't need to ask "AND?"

But we do. We all do. And I don't need a symbol to help me with that. But, I understand. Maybe that helps me in a way. Not to define me, but to understand that things always change. And that I can change. I can create. I might not be able to name a state, city or street, but I might be able to name something new. To put my stamp on life. To creat my own definition of me.