Your Love Is Pain

As I was heading to East Texas, I saw a mailbox that was tipped over...looked like someone took a bat to it...which is typical entertainment for the folks in East Texas. Tradition actually. Anyway....this is what I took from it......

Your love is like
Throwing beer at chicken wire
It cuts and it stinks
Like hitting a mailbox with a bat
Don't need to read nothin'
To get the message that
Your love is pain

Like a hook on a string
That gets caught in my cheek
Like a nail full of rust
That pierces my feet

Your love is pain

Like a yellow dog with mange
Like a truck with no tailgate
Hit a bump and everything goes away

Your love is pain
Like a toilet with no drain
Septic and stained

Like a red dirt cake
With Bull neddle candles
Like poison ivy
On a hot day
Like getting lost
In a polluted swamp

Your love is pain
And I'm tired of the drain
You're a swamp cat and a sewer rat
Predator and vermin
Not meant for nothin

Ampersand

Throughout my years on earth, I've looked for ways to define myself. It's not easy. What am I? Who am I? The interesting part is that someone else has already defined me. It's in the books I've read. It's written down. Why haven't I figured it out? I'm looking for the answers that can explain me. And I have none. It would be an easy life for me, I think, if I didn't think. If I just let the world revolve around me and not struggle. I've done that. But, for me, the struggle is the life. In the attempt to try to define myself, I keep coming up with new verbs, nouns and adjectives. Many are good, but I usually focus on the bad definitions. The ones I need to work on.

If I wanted an easy life, I would have one. I've had an easy life. And the clearest definition of me at that time was "dead". Most of my life has been hard. So, that's what I cling to. That's what I know that is me. I even thought I could be the 27th letter in the alphabet. Something that doesn't exist. But it does. Everything always exists.

Ampersand. That's a symbol. Not a letter. But in my summation of it, it means "And....what else". You don't need more than what you have. You don't need to ask "AND?"

But we do. We all do. And I don't need a symbol to help me with that. But, I understand. Maybe that helps me in a way. Not to define me, but to understand that things always change. And that I can change. I can create. I might not be able to name a state, city or street, but I might be able to name something new. To put my stamp on life. To creat my own definition of me.