The Happy and the Sad

Your Love Is Pain

2011-11-29T14:46:00.000-08:00

As I was heading to East Texas, I saw a mailbox that was tipped over...looked like someone took a bat to it...which is typical entertainment for the folks in East Texas. Tradition actually. Anyway....this is what I took from it......

Your love is like
Throwing beer at chicken wire
It cuts and it stinks
Like hitting a mailbox with a bat
Don't need to read nothin'
To get the message that
Your love is pain

Like a hook on a string
That gets caught in my cheek
Like a nail full of rust
That pierces my feet

Your love is pain

Like a yellow dog with mange
Like a truck with no tailgate
Hit a bump and everything goes away

Your love is pain
Like a toilet with no drain
Septic and stained

Like a red dirt cake
With Bull neddle candles
Like poison ivy
On a hot day
Like getting lost
In a polluted swamp

Your love is pain
And I'm tired of the drain
You're a swamp cat and a sewer rat
Predator and vermin
Not meant for nothin

Ampersand

2011-11-29T06:14:00.000-08:00

Throughout my years on earth, I've looked for ways to define myself. It's not easy. What am I? Who am I? The interesting part is that someone else has already defined me. It's in the books I've read. It's written down. Why haven't I figured it out? I'm looking for the answers that can explain me. And I have none. It would be an easy life for me, I think, if I didn't think. If I just let the world revolve around me and not struggle. I've done that. But, for me, the struggle is the life. In the attempt to try to define myself, I keep coming up with new verbs, nouns and adjectives. Many are good, but I usually focus on the bad definitions. The ones I need to work on.

If I wanted an easy life, I would have one. I've had an easy life. And the clearest definition of me at that time was "dead". Most of my life has been hard. So, that's what I cling to. That's what I know that is me. I even thought I could be the 27th letter in the alphabet. Something that doesn't exist. But it does. Everything always exists.

Ampersand. That's a symbol. Not a letter. But in my summation of it, it means "And....what else". You don't need more than what you have. You don't need to ask "AND?"

But we do. We all do. And I don't need a symbol to help me with that. But, I understand. Maybe that helps me in a way. Not to define me, but to understand that things always change. And that I can change. I can create. I might not be able to name a state, city or street, but I might be able to name something new. To put my stamp on life. To creat my own definition of me.

Earth is Hell and I am Sold

2011-09-03T21:02:00.000-07:00

Easier to block things out
Easier to look away
Easier to let things go
Easier to not make a wave

I’ve faced the things
I’ve always faced
Abandonment and disgrace
Of these things I can’t erase
Just wished I could’ve chosen
To have a place in the sun
To be the only one
Not left upon a hill
In ridicule

You know….people have a power
Over everyone
Everyone in their power
Will try to make you come undone
Even if they’re nice
It’s with a plan
They are looking
To the promised land

Of a palace paved with gold
With a billion other souls
A McDonalds in the clouds
Let’s just sing out loud

I’ll take the heaven and hell on earth
I love the world and I love the life
I love the hate and I love the strife
I love the way I can’t sing
I love the fact that I love nothing
In heaven...that is.

I like Kansas and dust in the wind
I think that’s the end of everything
I fear the current
I fear the future
For God’s sake
Don’t make me fear
The hereafter

Oh…so that’s it. Or so I’m told
That the devil will hold your soul
And if your bad you’ll be really, really good
Well, earth is hell and I’m sold

Trade Me Away

2011-08-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

Trade Me

Trade me out of this atmosphere
Trade me to a new frontier
Trade me to a whole New World
Trade me…I want out of here

Up on the block
And such a bargain
Barkers bark
It’s a human auction

Aint worth a damn
Aint worth an ounce
Gold is high
And I am low
Not a bad price to pay
Just trade me away

I gotta get out of this atmosphere
I gotta get to a new frontier
Ounce for ounce I aint worth a damn
Trade me to Afghanistan

Weigh me Troy, for I have sinned
I should’ve saved, must make amends
Exploding stars are all to blame
Egyptian gold on the plains

Can a trade for a job well done?
Can I trade to be the chosen one?
Can I trade you to believe in me?
Can I split the sea?
Can you trade me?

Life is a deal
And a deal is a trade
Let me know what you want
And a deal can be made

Get me out of here
Out of this atmosphere

Tossing Out Film

2011-08-04T23:17:00.000-07:00

My Ode to Film...since I've tossed out so many pictures and film lately.....it sucks...but that's what it is. Prior to digital. It was all we had. I kind of liked it that way. But, that's just me.

Like holes
On film rolls
You can't see it
Until the final outcome
It helps to move along the process
The beauty
Or the mistake
But to anticipate the fate
Of a picture
On a roll
Of film
Was it worth the wait?

Like holes
On film rolls
On both sides
Rolling around
Twist it once
You'll get the picture
At the end of the roll
You'll see the development

You'll see things
Exposed
You'll see things
Beautiful and hatelful
Great and stupid
Of youth and beauty
And life in between

Pick it up
Put it in your hands
Toss it in the trash
If you don't give a damn

Pictures in a box
Paper in your face
Throw it out
Ain't no disgrace
We got digital pictures
Tons and tons
Isn't it funny
We only see them once?

It's a virtual world
A trash can culture
Everything is tossed
And nothing matters
In a virtual world
Are you sure the pictures you see are really what you see?
Did you experience it?
Or is it all in your mind?
Or you just don't need anybody.

Not even a phone
A computer will do
In a virtual world
You see what you see
Toss what you toss
And nothing matters
Like eggshells scattered

Pundits are the New Religion

2011-07-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

Pundits are the new religion

They don’t have a pulpit

But hell let’s just listen

TV is religion.

Go from it….and you might find redemption.

Pundits are the new religion

How do I know?

I’ve listened to them well

I’m a liberal

According to them

I’m going straight to hell

Better shave off my hooves

And take care of the horns

Pundits

Are

The New Religion

Just Listen

Look into the sky

It’s all good

You’ll love it

The people that rule the world

Oh…..do you want to travel

Sit in a lobby…at a hotel?

With a lobbyist?

Oh…that will turn out well

He’ll tell you things about how things work

He can circle jerk under a flowing skirt

He can tell many things about everything

And go to Cape Code….hell….dang…this is the thing.

Pundits are the new religion

I’ll take what you say

I’ll take what you say

I’ll take what you say

I Killed Amy Winehouse

2011-07-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

I killed Amy Winehouse
I’ve tried for some time
With pills and thrills and atomic drills
I even tried to kill with wine.

I shot her in the arm
I shot her in the heart
I shot her so much
She lost her art

I tried to pull back but she liked to stay
She wouldn’t have it any other way
I loved her and she loved me
Paying me nickels, dimes and pennies

I’ll take it all and love the view
In my penthouse apartment on Park Avenue
Oh, you think I have anything better to do?
The devil you say…..hell I’ve got a crew

I loved Amy Winehouse
And I know that she loved me
Velvet kisses of numbing love
You can’t get that from above
Only from me
Because you know
I’m the king
Of down below
From down here it’s ever clear
That Amy Winehouse has come home
And built a house all her own
Address is always the same
27th street next to Drop Dead Lane

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_27s:_The_Greatest_Myth_of_Rock_%26_Roll

Doppelganger candidates

2011-07-14T22:46:00.001-07:00

They look alike
They sound alike
I owe a state
I owe a state
That’s where we pick the candidates?

Doppelganger candidates
Look alike
Sound alike
Eat the chicken
Lick the pie
Which do I vote for?
Why even try?

Mormon and Mormon?
Whore man and Whore man
Don’t drink caffeine
Don’t swallow pills
Don’t stop at Utah
Ride bikes to Capital Hill
Salt the Potomac
With white shirts
And a salamander

Doppelganger candidates
Bat them beautiful eyes
Flip that brunette hair
What was she saying?
What was she saying?
Oh hell…who cares…..
Throw tea off a boat or shoot a moose from a copter
I’ll vote for any of you with that sassy swagger

You all look alike
You all sound alike
You are candidate Doppelgangers
Like Mormon salamanders
Speaking for Jesus on American soil
Speaking for America as the economy boils
A moose can drink tea
A bag can stop a moose
Filled with money…on the loose…..

Doppelganger President
Nobody looks like him
On the outside
But he’s everybody
On the inside
He’ll salt his food and drink his tea
He’s everybody for every party

Must be nice to play some rounds
With a leader of the pack that often frowns
Or cries…………..

Doppelganger America
Everybody will be anybody
Look the part
Act the part
Be the part

Until we come apart

Human Rodeo

2011-06-13T13:22:00.001-07:00

I got a car but the air run out
I got a place but the lease run out
I might be out about
For a change
Like a cheating husband
Or a pig on the range
All hunting something
And here I am

No job, no husband, no place to go
Maybe it's time to join the rodeo
If they had one or two on a big plateau
Oh
We are all in a human rodeo

Jump when I say and twirl a bit
Let me take your mouth off the spit
And put you in another ring to bide the time
And bring you out for a second time

Oh....everything is just so so
In the human rodeo

Dirty

2011-06-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

I used to use a dry cleaner
But now my clothes are in a pile
I used to care about things
But I haven’t for awhile

If I clean things up
Can I get a break?
Asking someone to help
Can be a mistake

I used to be this person
Who had the world in the palm of my hands?
Or at least I had a corner of it
And now I don’t even dry clean
And I really don’t give a shit

Things are gonna be dirty for awhile
And there’s nothing I can do
Living with filth and grime and grit
Is something I’m gonna have to go through
I wish there was something I could do….but…..
Things are gonna be dirty for awhile

A Relationship Vomit

2011-05-08T01:03:00.000-07:00

To be perfectly honest
I don’t have the stomach for it
I can’t rest upon it
A relationship vomit

Cop up the curdles
Rest up the vestibules
Light a few candles
Can’t clear the smell
Light a match, it will suite you well

The relationship vomit comet
It comes upon us all
When there’s nothing left within
And everything else falls
Did it come from the sky?
Nice try

You love to love nothing
And use everything
It serves one thing
It serves one thing

You’ll never love anything above yourself
You can drive miles of death
You’ll see nothing except yourself
In a coffin within yourself

Because you love nothing but yourself
And you don’t care about the things that count
Oh,,,,I guess you do have a count
On one hand,,,,,,about the people you understand
The girls you masturbate too
On so many video tubes
You can’t even give it up]
To a real girl a time or two
Just a waste of penis paste
A waste of time waste
Wipe it off and let it go
Or two, or three, or four, or one
It only takes one to get the job done
He doesn’t care….so debonair
Little does he know?
I was a pretty good show
But not now……….

Laugh it up and how….

Black Canyon

2011-04-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

There was a terrible murder in Plano, Texas. A man by the name of Terrance Black murdered his ex-girlfriend. Well, they haven't convicted him yet....but he dumped the body in Frisco,TX and left to go to the Grand Canyon. When he was acting crazy at the Canyon...they tried to catch him and he started running and jumped off a cliff. He survived because it was only 25 feet down......and is now awaiting murder charges. Susan Loper was her name. He destroyed her face. She was opening a Pilates studio and was getting on with her life. I guess he couldn't take the fact that she was doing it without him. It's such a shame. She was a beautiful girl. I never met her. But, nobody deserves to get punched so hard in the face as to not be recognizable. They had to use dental records.

Black Canyon

What were you thinking?
Driving round and round
Finding a place
On the ground
To dump the love
You never found?

What were you thinking?
When you went out of town
Trying to escape
That beautiful face?
By jumping off a vast landscape
To fill a void from the past
Of a love that didn’t last

Were you jealous of her success?
She asked for your advice
And you gave her your fist
Were you thinking
“There’s nobody else but me
You won’t need anybody else….
You’ll see”

What were you thinking?
Or don’t you know?
There’s always another rodeo?
With a tramp-o-light
Or a tramp-o-lean
Or with a Middle Aged Beauty Queen?
Did you get Her
With the first Swing?
No…I guess you didn’t
Scratching and clawing to fight for life
Pounding and Pounding till there was no light

Murder in the first degree
Murder in the worst degree

And now you’re gonna have fun
At Ellis Unit One
And a simple thing
Called a syringe
That solves one problem
For one thing
Better than jumping off 25 feet of stupid destiny

It’s easier to kill someone
Than to kill yourself
Except for Thelma and Louise
They did it in style
With a Leap of Faith
And a Smile
You’ve got neither
And never will
25 Feet of stupid destiny

Kick the Puppy

2011-02-24T21:51:00.000-08:00

Not so sure
About the words
But I guess that does sound like me
At times.
It's hard looking in a mirror.
Even harder to reflect the words
Backwards

Maybe I need to write about fun things.....like puppies and such....

But...then....
I would probably put a verse into it like.......
If you don't love me I'll kick the puppy.

It's just the way I am....I guess :)

See you next week
Miss you much!
And I'll kick your puppy
and such.......

The Three of You

2011-02-23T17:38:00.001-08:00

Oh how I loved you
Through the doors and the broken jaws
Through the kidnappings and broken laws
Oh how I loved you
I loved it all

Through letting me up on the tight rope
And leaving me alone without a grope
And laughing when I had no hope
Oh how I loved you
Through the fist in the door

And singing songs I never heard
To others that loved the words
Sing it again and again and again
I has no reference
Never heard the words
No reference
No Song
No Song
Again and Again
It never ends

Kick it in
The Streets of Laredo
Curious when you sang it
The only two
You cared about hearing it....was....
You and two
You and two
I know all about
All About You
And the Two

The Three Of You

That's it.
Remember the Fist?
The First Fist?
You don’t remember it
You go to Church
Forget all of it?
Oh, that's right...the Bible Belt
It didn't feel so good when it swelt.
Believe me.....one of the only feelings I felt.

Wrap yourself in the deep sunshine
So maybe it’s a fitting time
Spent so much time with your ladies
And gave them all them time they needed.
You could teach them about life and love
And the possibilities

A better tomorrow
But there you are
On the streets
Of Laredo

I wish I knew the words
But I never heard them
Not sung to me
Got the jest of it though
On the Streets
Of Laredo

Five Four-closures of the Apocolypse

2011-02-23T17:21:00.000-08:00

Goodness
God less
No sense
Pestialciance
Ride the horses
Of the Apocolypyse
Conquest
War
Famine
Fame
Death
Destruction
Give it any name
Well the Hell with it
America can fill it
That Special ticket

We're gonna ride them horses
Into the ground
They gotta message
Sing it out loud

We love Famine
We love Fame
We love Fortune
We love Shame
We love Destruction
We have no name
We could care less about Shame
It’s all about the game.

To conquer
To Digest
Social inquest
I’ve been there
It’s Destructive
And it’s been here
All the time

Is it Hard?

2011-02-23T17:18:00.000-08:00

I’m not gonna make it as hard
As it wants to be
I’ll make it easier
Than it needs to be
Do I take a test?
And you do all the rest?
Maybe I’ll make it harder
Than it should be
And not as easy
As it needs to be
Hold it on the outside
And tight on the inside

Oh…..just a wannabe
In the heart
Should it start?
You aint too smart
But I’ll just lay it out
Without a shout
A wannabe

It takes some smarts
To deflect a few darts
In the heart

God,this is harder than it should be
And not as easy as it needs to be

catch phrases to say what I don’t think

2011-01-18T00:25:00.000-08:00

It always helps me to use catch phrases to say what I don’t think.

I can’t read while you’re around
I can’t breathe while you’re in town
Give the God sake giving’s all around
Throw the bastard into the ground

I didn’t catch the boat on the gravy train
I waxed too much when I shoulda waned
I wish I’d thrown that penny on a fountain dime
I don’t eat clay but I like cliché
I walked too hard on the front line

Canna I catch up to the way I want to play
The train has left the station but I still want to stay
It’s moving to fast and I never had to pay
I don’t have a ticket and their making me say

Hey Hey….just go away….

Maybe their right
Open my heart and it doesn’t want to stay
It always falls apart in a general melee
In a general way
My life and my heart is an open cliché

I don’t have ticket
To anything specific
I don’t have a show
And there’s no where to go

I like to use catch phrases
I want to climb a mountain
I want to surf a wave
I want to float on clouds
I want to hide in caves

And I can’t read while you’re around
I can’t breath while you’re in town
You can’t give me a second sound
When it’s up to you…it’s out of bounds
Within my bounds
But you’re out of bounds

Ancient Aliens

2011-01-12T23:19:00.000-08:00

You know, I’ve been hearing about ancient aliens coming from the sky to give us their wisdom, advice, warnings….and maybe just a general how do you do….and it got me thinking. There are so many commonalities to ancient structures such as pyramids, ladders, rock circles…formations either leading up to the sky or that can be seen from the heavens......maybe there is something to it.

Hum, is it mankind’s curiosity for finding truth that can lead him astray? Is the truth so alarming that a nice and tidy story is better than nothing? Maybe it’s better to think that the infinite number of stars that look like the skyline of Manhattan is actually some place just like it? If we can just reach out to one of those bright lights….maybe we can walk the Milky Way.

That’s why we build to the sky. We want to be part of the skyline. We want to be part of the bigger picture….part of the sum of the whole……instead of living in a black hole.

Have we figured out the secrets of the Gods? Do we know their powers? Did aliens visit us to give us knowledge to pass on to the masses? The chosen few?

Did Maslow have it right?
On the basic hierarchy needs
Food, shelter, Spirituality, Self Actualization?
What the hell?
Just another pyramid

I would like to give people credit for wisdom, truth and basically being good for the sake of being good. But, who am I kidding.

Maybe the only good people in this world didn’t come from here. You know, for better or worse, Jesus was an alien. A deity? A divine one? From the sky?

Jesus was an alien
Resurrection in the sky
Everyone who saw him said
Man, that guy could fly
He’s gonna come back someday
He saved us from our sins
But I have to consider another question
And, that question is……why?

Why save us from ourselves?
Are we all that bad?
Did you have to prove a point?
Why did you try?
Resurrection in the sky.
Thanks for the advice
Thanks for the wisdom
Thanks for the warnings
But what I already know will suffice

I know I’ve seen heaven
I know I’ve felt like hell
You can’t teach me about life
In a little parable

Leonardo was an alien
He liked to draw and illustrate
Hey didn’t preach but liked to pry
He got inspiration from the sky
Mona Lisa would be proud
She visited him while upon a cloud

Einstein had a full dance card
With alien visitations
They spoke, he listened
Just step here
Just step there
Follow me on the dance floor and
I’ll show you formulas…. Extraordinaire
It will be as if
Time stood still
Be sure to put……your best foot forward
If you will

Marx was an alien
He might’ve been a little misled
He believed in Utopia
He believed what the angels said

Hoover wasn’t an alien
But he was probed
Just like Sara Palin
Except she got probed
in the frontal lobe

Stephen Hawkins is not an alien
But that box surely is
That mind , that voice, those brilliant words
Definitely alien…..not his…..

Regan was an alien
He could talk to chimps
Why do you think he got along so well
With Congress?

Everything thinks Obama is an alien
I’m sure he would like to be
Given the state of the economy
He would like to say “Take me back to the mother planet
These people are crazy
I can’t handle it!”

I’m an alien
Take me back
To the mother planet
These people are crazy
I can’t handle it.
Look up to the stars
They look so divine
Like a Manhattan skyline
Let me have my day
And walk the Milky Way
I want to feel alive...to feel whole
Not like living in a black hole

Doves and Whistles

2011-01-12T01:10:00.000-08:00

It’s not about doves and whistles
Or mystical metaphysicals
Gotta get from here to there
In a car - that’s gonna crash
In a car - I’m gonna trash
A vehicular homicide
I think it’s suicide

It’s not about young or old
Or power to be bold
Gotta get from here to there
Not in my shoes – cuz I’ll trip
Not in my shoes – to hell with it

I’ve gotta go somewhere
Gotta get from here to here
It’s somewhere
Out there
In a car
In my shoes
Gotta trip on the mystical
Meta-a-physicals
Trust the flight and what it takes
Doves and whistles
I see the flight and hear the signals

Cross Haired Diplomat

2011-01-10T18:22:00.001-08:00

It makes me think
about Alanis Morissette
“Isn’t it Ironic”.
Don’t you think?
To get blown away
At a Safeway.

You’re just so too good to be true
I got my sites on you
I want you in my cross hairs
Your blue eyes and golden hair

Face the Facebook
Gobble the Google
Gotta map to find you
This gun is all for you

I’ll find
The places on your heart
I’ll find
The crosses in your hair
I’ll find
The things to destroy you
I’ll find a way
Because I care

We can’t even read the Constitution
Without the Chamber yelling
It’s a volatile situation
Maybe they should meet at Safeway
No gavel…and a little more leeway

You can’t hide forever
We can blow you away
At a Safe-way
Anyday
Who’s to blame?
Valeria Plame?
She’s got good cross hairs
Looks just the same

You can’t escape from us
Jump on the Facebook bus
Or impale on the Palin Map
Cross Haired Diplomat

What do we worship more?
The Cross or Cross Hairs
Apparently
We’ve got souls to spare

Whitewashed

2011-01-07T04:27:00.000-08:00

I held a séance the other night

Cold round table with dim lights

A breeze was blowing

Or was it a wind of change

Wasn’t trying to talk - just exchange

A few things

On my mind

Light the candles and hold the hands

Let’s see if we can conjure up the bogeyman

Or the person of choice as in this case

A person I never met

A person I could never forget

What would I say

If he channeled through?

They took away your words, baby

They took away you

Forget the mark one, mark two, mark twain bullshit

They took away your slang

Dang

They ran away with it

Replaced It

Erased It

There’s nothing you can do

For the cleanup of your literature

Roll over in your grave

With Injun Joe and a Nigger slave

Taking up your backside

Glad you wrote about the dark side

Too bad it’s been whitewashed

Like a Tom Sawyer fence

Too bad you can’t be here

In your own defense

Freedom of Speech

Freedom of Words

What’s in a name?

What’s in slang?

What’s with America?

It’s a f*cking shame

Of Everything

2010-12-22T23:14:00.000-08:00

There’s a peace
And a sublime surrender
When you’ve chosen the path
The final detour
The final ender

It lifts the heart
And lifts the soul
Because you know the pain
Is about to let go

No one ever knows
About these things
You can’t explain away
You just go away

No explanations
Because I’m so tired
I’m just so tired
And I have no love
I have no life
I have nothing
I have nothing
I have nothing

I lost everything
I lost my life
I lost my love
Of everything

Retail Hell

2010-12-22T00:44:00.000-08:00

This is just about my experience in retail. That's all. This is my take on it. But, I always like the fact that it can always go a different way...with poetry.

I ain’t trying to sell
Just trying to liquidate
Introduce a product
For your own sake
It’s gonna make
Life so much better
It’s gonna make you happy
Gonna make you sappy
Little plates
Little cakes
Little tokens of liquidate

I gotta get it for her
I gotta get it for him
I gotta get it for Jesus
It’s a win-win

One for you and two for me
Let’s clink the glasses
And make it three
Oh I’m in love
With the powerful glove
Leather is the trend
Get it before the end
We got it yesterday
Try it on….
It looks so good
On you….

Aint’ trying to sell
But hell
Let’s liquidate

It looks good on you

For them

Waton Life

2010-12-18T19:44:00.000-08:00

What do I want in life?
To be happy without a pit in my stomach
To embrace
To love
To forgive
And live and let live
To communicate and not dictate
To love and love and love
A warm blanket on a cold night
To let me know it’s gonna be alright
Even when it’s not
I wish I could be better than I am
I wish other people could to
I want to love
Wanton love - so much it hurts that I can’t
But I do

Once Peace at a Time

2010-12-14T16:03:00.000-08:00

I guess I’ve tried to make light of so many things in my life because I’ve had so many heavy things happen, I just tend to blow it off. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have feelings. Or the feelings I have are off the mark. Exaggerated components of emotions I’m trying to place together. A jigsaw puzzle in the mind.

But it comes to a point. And I start to feel. Like when you sleep on your hand and the feeling starts to come back again. The lack of circulation? It was ok to be numb when I was numb to it. But when it starts to tingle…when it starts to feel…that’s where the issues come in.

That’s when the scrambled pieces come together.

I’ll figure it out. I always do.

If I look at it hard enough……I’ll start with the borders and look inside.

One piece at a time
One peace at a time
A jigsaw puzzle in the mind

Good Habits - Bad Behavior

2010-12-05T19:06:00.000-08:00

Mama didn’t teach too much about life
She liked to preach…though
About walking five miles in the snow
To get to the church on time
But hell Mom…
This ain’t Idaho

She was born Smackover
In an Arkansas oil patch
Sleazy and Greasy
Never met her match

And didn’t understand about the bird and the bees
When asked….she said
“There ain’t no bees in a man’s pants!
She said a lot of things when she went on rants

She said…..
Girl…..to get your man…
Ya gotta have good habits
But bad behavior
Blessed is our Savior
For Good Habits
And bad behavior

Oh Lord, she said, don’t you know
I can’t tell who's good or bad
At a church social
Or in a Sears catalog
I’ll never have my wish book wishes
Of marriage dishes
And midnight kisses
My life has been a fog

She’s looking for the light
She’s looking for a light
For the next cigarette
Ain't never gonna quit
In the bars or behind the bars

It’s killing me
So I’m gonna pray
For God to release me
From the bonds that torment me

I pray every night to see the light
God, I pray for good habits
But Lord knows I’ve got bad behavior
Blessed be my Savior
Give me good habits
And good behavior
Be my Savior
Of bad habits and bad behavior

A write and a wrong

2010-12-01T21:22:00.000-08:00

No one likes to write…everybody likes to wrong

When you’re on the trip….ok....
When you’re walking around….
Absorbing nothing of the natural sounds…..or looks…in a way….
Take a picture…it looks good…on the grassy knoll....a willing mole

You gotta look…it’s by the books….

What did I hear?
Zupriter I fear
A billboard in the wake
A Convenient convertible on a sunny day

A bullet on the gurney
Took quite a journey
So did the pill box hat
On the trunk
Imagine that?
That’s why I love Dallas…

Blood On Air Force One
Let’s get the good One
Profile….that is…
Profiles of Courage?
Gotta look good for the cameras…

No one likes to write…everybody likes to wrong

We proved it
On Air Force One

That's why Yellow Makes Me sad

2010-11-29T13:46:00.000-08:00

Spaghetti Bushes
I’ve seen them all

On film
On trees
I’ve seen them drying in the breeze

That’s why
Environment’s on the brink
And that's why yellow makes me sad
I think

Santa Claus is
A little nauseous
I’ve seen him
Picking Spaghetti bushes
Gotta find a new profession
Melting poles/pool reflections

Can we get off the jackwagon
To mamby pamby land?

We can’t afford glad
We’re staring at spaghetti land
Bushes populating the land

And that’s why yellow makes me sad
I think

We are on the brink
Of Melting poles
Cool reflections
And that’s why yellow makes me sad
I think

Goodbye...Or...Good Buy...Either Way..Adios.....

2010-11-18T22:46:00.000-08:00

I don’t know
And it doesn’t matter
I’m detached from the world right now
I can’t get thru it
Thru the orbit…..
And it doesn’t matter, anyhow

A pimple
On the forehead
Not a consideration
Just something to get rid of
Something to make fun of
Do what everyone does
Eliminate, Eliminate
Too much to take
It doesn’t matter, somehow
It doesn't matter, anyhow

I’ve seen enough
I’ve done enough
Been through enough
Enough is enough

I’m done
I’m done
It wasn’t won
no winning
It doesn't matter somehow
It doesn't matter anyhow

You''ve Killed Me

2010-11-15T17:47:00.000-08:00

You gotta go
It’s in front of your face
You can’t “peace out”
Or have grace
Just cry and blow – Cry and blow
You’ll leave this world without a trace
Or is there….another show?
Is there another race?

You ask questions
But the truth is
You’re already there…….
Hell Yes
Does anybody care?
Hell No
Easily replaced?
Hell yes
Too tired to curse
And what’s worse
You’re already there

Cry it out
Let it go
There’s always
Another rodeo
With a tramp-o-light
Or a tramp-o-lean
Or with a Middle Aged Beauty Queen
Did you get Her?
With the first Swing?
Yeah
I guess ya did....

And now you got Sing Sing

With tramp-o-lights
And tramp-o-leans
And simple things
Called neck strings
That solves most problems
For everything

Just swing and swing
With the Big Bad Band
There's a good Horn Section
In Sing Sing

A Poser Posing Question

2010-11-10T14:00:00.000-08:00

What should I do????

Is anyone what they should be?

Superman leaped tall buildings with a single bound

But later found dead with drugs all around

Faster than a speeding bullet - couldn't be found

What should I do

What should I be

Pink crinkled doughnuts

So easy to please

We've lowered the pedestal to an alarming rate

Looking up from the ground....through the grates?

Oh...that's where we live

In the United States

What should I do?

Make it while you can

Who should I be?

Too bad you don't have identity

Throw a ball or throw a race
If you're good.....you've got a chance
Too bad for you
You have no stance

But we love it when you dance
Love it when you dance
We all know about chance
And you have no Stance
In the Dance

Skeet In Wisconsin

2010-10-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

I had a friend in college who loved to tell me great stories or lies or something in between. She’s one of those individuals that you keep at a distance. Like, a decades distance or a life’s distance. You never can keep her too close, because she is like the sun. You’ll always get burned. Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to look too close or you’ll go blind? It’s a good warning. It’s just too bad the warning pertains to her - a burning glob of heat that will eventually destroy everything in its site.

She’s got your ticket
You ain’t gonna lick it
In Wisconsin

She gets off the plane
She's got her aim
Gonna hit skeet
Or Kill Someone
In Wisconsin

The gun plucked her arm
As she aimed for the mark
It traveled quite a way
What did she say?
I’ll have Cheese in Cincinnati
Or hit Skeet in Wisconsin

Buy a ticket to either
She’ll call you a liar
She'll see you soon
On a funeral pyre

She calls me up
Tells me her thoughts
About the people in her mind
Remember the one
At the Door?
He’s the one
Left behind?
The one she adores
Hell, she's just a whore
Who’s keeping score
She's got a gun
And shooting someone
Or hitting skeet in Wis-con-sin

There's a Con
There's a Sin
Everyone cons
Everyone sins
In Wisconsin

A ticket to anywhere
A ticket to nowhere

Are you Somebody or Nobody?

2010-09-28T07:06:00.001-07:00

Are you Somebody or Nobody?
I’ve met both and all
You’ve gotta blame Somebody for Everything
And let Nobody take the fall

Breezy

2010-09-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

It’s easy to be breezy
With an uncomplicated mind
Where there’s nothing unobtainable
And everybody’s kind

And there you have it all the way
Working hard to make the play
Work it hard to make it stay
Work till there’s no parlay

There I wait until the day
Everything goes my way
Until I know
It isn’t so
And everything I know
Is all for show

The hard part is the truth
Which can appear to be aloof
The unspoken thoughts
And unspoken dreams
Culminate into everything

I hurt for loss
It’s under my skin
Everyday. As I am
I leave home
But nightmares stay
I hurt for loss
Of everything. Of everything.

Burn a Koran Day

2010-09-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

All Hail the
Burn A Koran Day
It ain’t Namaste
It’s the New Testament Way

Condemn and rejoice
Throw fire on a voice
Mosque at ground zero
Can't be mixed with a hero

We gotta go to Gainesville
And populate the landfill
With the Word of God
Isn’t that Odd?
Thanks to the Beck and call
Finishing Muslims once for all

We don’t need no tolerance
Burning books makes so much sense

Where the hell
Can you buy a Koran?
Are they made in Japan?
Not a thought out plan

Did ya ever think about Kindles?
Silly Christians lighting candles
Who could believe
Hate is the new currency
To stimulate the economy

America A Go-Go

2010-06-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

America A-Go-Go

Let’s mourn the passing
of America A-Go-Go
It was a great dance Party
And one hell of a show

Everyone was
On the floor
Wigglin’ and a Shakin’
Their Thangs

You could feel the music
And everybody sang
There was no end in site
Hell, it was outta sight!

Let’s say a how-do-you-do to
Corporate A-Goo-Goo.
We’re dancing alright
but it’s not much fun

Wiggling on forfeitured floors
Shaking that wallet
Watching the oil
As it pours

Oh and look over there
Let’s not forget
To give a big round of applause
To the Government
Government a Boo-Hoo
Who's crying now?

Parties without dancing
Parties without fun
Parties without feelings
Parties on the run

Let’s mourn the passing
of America A-Go-Go
It was a great dance Party
And One Hell of a Show

Give Me a Break

2010-05-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

Are you a good witch or a bad witch? In essence, all witches are bad and all breaks are bad. A bad witch walked in front of me while I was riding my bike and I went head over heels into the pavement, breaking my shoulder. She didn’t have striped socks or ruby slippers, but I could see munchkins walking around wondering whether or not I was gonna make it and where the hell was the horse of a different color? The only colors I saw that day were black and blue. I might have been hallucinating. That would explain a lot.

Through the past few years I’ve found myself in the most terrible tosses and turns of life. Tornados? That seems appropriate. Nobody to blame but me. It’s easier to deal with things when you have support. I’m just not that good at asking for it. I’m smart, but I’m not Mensa material. Oh hell… even at Mensa level you can be completely retarded on how to boil water. You know why it boils…you just don’t know where to find the pot.

So why do I sit here feeling stupid? Because I am. We all are at times. However, most of the time I think we are all brilliant. But I’m stupid if I continue to think about the things I would like to change and never having the courage to affect it.

Is there such a thing as a good Break? Can people find redemption and enlightenment from pain? Hum, being splayed out on a busy city street can certainly bring about a different perspective, that’s for sure. Because from that vantage point on that particular day, the only way to go was up.

And of course, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. There was nothing to hide from. No witch, no munchkins and of course, I wasn’t heading down a yellow brick road. But I am desperately trying to find my way home.

No equations to relations

2010-05-01T17:30:00.000-07:00

Percentages and Relativity……

Oh how I hate math. I hate equations and decimals and precise formulas. In a perfect world, everything would work out if you just do the homework…if you can figure out the code. Static. Real. Complex but oh so simple. Such as it is with relationships, right? Meet the right person….and the formula will work. Oh…but I forget about the two negatives making a positive thing. Dang, how I hate math.

There’s no equation to relations. The math is daunting. Over 50% of marriages fail. I’m sorry to say that I’m am part of that statistic. It breaks my heart. That is to say, if I still have one. I hear it pulsing and the rate goes up when I exercise, but the true heart is in the soul, and mine is in severe disrepair.

For people pursuing a relationship, you can always look to the beautiful side, the right brain where nothing goes wrong and the roses never die. It’s a romantic notion spent on a rainy day when you finally decide that the movie version of boy meets girl actually works (a formula plot, by the way). It looks so good on screen. Laughter, tears, sex, make up sex, and basically sex for the sake of having it. What love. What love indeed.

Does this deter me from trying to find happiness in the companionship of others? To trust someone with my heart? Hell yes it does. If they ever figure out Pi….then maybe we can decode the true formula of love and how we can work out the equations to stay together. I have a huge eraser and can correct mistakes. We’ve all made a few even the erasers can’t touch. The paper is too thin and the marks won’t go away.

What was the Einstein theory…Energy is equal to mass x speed of life…ok..speed of light!! Well, the light is bright and I’m speeding through it. Mass…well….I go to the gym on a daily basis to deal with the mass. I’m not sure that’s what Einstein had in mind, but, as I said……I hate math.

They Love the Party - But not the Life

2010-05-01T12:42:00.000-07:00

I saw an interesting documentary about a 15 year old boy who always talked about death until talking wasn’t quite enough.

Everybody contemplates death. I mean, why do we have life insurance….for death…of course. Why don’t they call it death insurance??? Business loves death….you could say….they thrive on it…kind of like flies…. actualities …..decomposition.

It made me sad, this documentary. The parents kept turning the camera on to this kid, who clearly had mental issues. Not blaming the parents at all, but why would you continue to shine a light on someone with issues?? Maybe to avoid the eventual blame that they knew was going to happen? The mom actually took a picture of her son hanging himself….simulated hanging. It’s a little sick. They were both film makers. Maybe they always kept him at a lengths distance. I’ll see you through the lens and not through the heart. It’s hard to make sense of mental illness, death, life, reality. Isn’t it all the same? Most of life is insane. I’m surprised that more people don’t jump out of a window. Which in case, this 15 year old kid did.

I think he thought he was going to be part of the after party. He actually wrote a play about the death of a teenager, and how everyone missed him and cried at his funeral. He reminds me of a bridezilla, they love the party, but not the life.

Under the Underneath

2010-04-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

Do we REALLY have choices?

When I see the lines getting longer and longer at the Street Missions in Dallas, I think that at least I’m not there…at least I have a car and can drive by them and feel emphathy/sympathy for them and pray that it never happens to me. And then I drive by the homeless under the bridge that don’t even bother standing in line. Have they given up hope for that in lieu of an early death or at least a day of sanctuary…away from the wind, the cold or the unrelenting heat of summer?

There's a guy with no legs in a wheelchair on the coroner’s corner, as I call it.
Is that the same guy as last week? Who knows? When you've seen what I've seen....the folks either disappear, walk away, have a bus route, a wheelchair, or have a motorized scooter with American flags flying in the wind racing on the streets near Fair Park. Some of them will have signs asking for money or food...most will not. There's no clever way to adverstise what they want. But plenty of catch phrases to describe what they are.

And most have no destination at all. Me included. I drive, I observe, I do nothing.

I wish I had a penny to spare. But, pennies cost more to make than what they're worth. I guess you could say that about people, they cost more than what they're worth. Well, especially if they are under the bridge, under the table, under the underneath of life – with American flags flying in the wind.

Truth Always LIES In the Middle

2010-03-08T15:36:00.000-08:00

You know, it takes time and effort to build relationships. Acquaintances and associates can turn into lovers and friends over the course of time. I remember a conversation I had with one of my best friends who now is nothing more than a file in my mind, a reference of days long gone. He told me that all the good will a person can build over time can be lost on a dime when you make one false move. One stupid mistake in a plethora of niceties and politeness can result in an irrefutable fall from grace. Once you know someone....at some point....you've got to either pull the plug or drink the Koolaid. Both have deadly ramifications. Both have ambiguous answers.

Do something good - Get Awards & Adulations
Do something bad - Get Accusations & Assassinations

Isn’t that the way we are?

Most of us are happy to congratulate folks for a job well done. By the same token, we are all too happy to dish the trash.

Maybe that’s why I chose not to be successful :)

I don’t want to be an easy target, easily shot down. There’s probably SOME truth to that. But, that’s probably more of an excuse than true reality. Truth always lies in the middle.

Humans are not good people

2010-02-16T15:44:00.000-08:00

We populate, pillage and pummel the planet.

We've built and built and built until destruction has become the new construction.

Destruction of the presidency - let's show the world that our chosen leader is completely incompetent.

Destruction of the family - let's make sure that both parents have to work to make ends meet.

Destruction of the economy - let's bail out the cheaters and float paper money all over the world until the dollar bill sinks lower than the Titanic.

Destruction of personal health - let's expose our kids to cheese pizza loving bears and scary clown hamburger hawkers

Destruction of the world - let's pollute the air and destroy the ozone layer. At least we'll all be looking on the bright side of ultraviolet rays

Trendy

2010-01-22T14:03:00.001-08:00

Someone asked me today what is currently the most annoying fashion trend?

To that I must answer....what IS a fashion trend these days? I mean, it seems like everything is just a regurgitation of things from the past. Nothing new under the sun. I saw a picture of Victoria Beckham with shoulder pads. Shoulder pads???? Augh, they looked pretty good on Mildred Pierce…..but Victoria Beckham is no Joan Crawford. She looked like a twig with two dead gerbils stuck to her shoulders. Not the best of looks. But, it was TRENDY.

Fashion trends are one of those unfortunate necessities in life to promote bad taste in the name of commerce. Everybody wants something new, even if it looks like crap. And maybe that’s true of other things in our lives, like relationships. When we start looking for the latest trend, we wind up not only looking like crap, but treating people in kind.

Sometimes you just have to put on a white t-shirt and some blue jeans, and appreciate the simplicity of life. Too much trendy can make you windy.

State of Mind

2009-09-29T11:23:00.000-07:00

I’ve been told there are 50 states
But my current state
Doesn’t populate
Doesn’t take a census
Doesn’t care
Because the state I live in
Is Oblivion

But as I travel through
Uncharted ground
Such sites to see
And the people
So cute, living in security
Nothing is wrong and everything to see
And there’s me
Living in Oblivity

Am I complaining?
I could sign up for the shouts
The ringing in the ears
Leaders to denounce.

But here I sit
In a motionless pit
I would care to care
But it’s all bullshit

G&M Part Cinq - I Soire with Sarte....Laissez-moi tranquille.

2009-09-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

There is no sanctuary. There is no place to find peace. That is my crime. And that is my punishment. And there is no starting over. Because there never was a beginning. There was only an end. An end that doesn’t end. And that is the worst punishment of all. Hell on Earth. No exit. I Soire with Sarte

L'enfer, c'est les autres

Hell is other people

G&M Quatre - Be your own Deceiver

2009-09-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

You’re beginning to bore me with your words of regret. Regret nothing and forget everything. That’s the way I handle life. Stop being the victim in your head. Nobody cares. That’s the inevitable truth. You think way too much and act all too little. Be your own deceiver.

G&M Part Trois - A receipt on deceit

2009-09-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Truth is deceiving

There are no guarantees

There’s no return
There’s no receipt

On deceit

G&M Part Deux: I Don't Soire with Dante

2009-09-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

You sound vulnerable, yet not. We've known each other for many years, and I must tell you ...if you are innocent...so be it. But, if you're guilty....we'll be friends forever. I don't suffer criminals, but I tend to gravitate to those who feel guilty when they're not. It's juicier. With pulp. People pay for their crimes in mysterious ways.

You're vulnerable either way. Because it doesn't matter if you've been virtuous....if you are guilty or innocent. Souls like yours roam the circles of hell sooner or later. With you, I prefer later......so I can get to know you. I like to swim in oceans...but not pits of fire. I don't soire with Dante.

Causerie - Greta and Marlene

2009-09-11T09:31:00.000-07:00

888

I can’t really tell you what happened or how it happened.

Sometimes, things come at me so fast that it’s hard to interpret the light.

It flickers and it’s gone. The speed of light is like the speed of life – fast, ever moving and hard to predict.

So why are you even questioning me? I sit here as a person in good standing within the community. Law abiding. And you’re making me out to be some kind of criminal? Why am I here? What did I do?

It’s terribly hard for me to focus.

If you would just leave me alone and let me go. If you could. If you would. Please. I shouldn’t be here.

When Paranoid Attacks Or Paranoids Attack???

2009-08-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

Paranoid thought….but a paranoid day, I guess. Wondering if I should take pictures of everyone that comes into my office “Can you hold it right there….thanks!”

I would rather have a person act completely nuts than have a person I can't read....who sits on the fence. You know the type....."he was always a quiet person."

Fast Food Gigolo

2009-08-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

He doesn't need a menu
He's ordered it before
A slice of pie
A piece of meat
Always on the score

Who needs discretion?
When there’s so much selection?
So what’s a little heart burn
It’ll go away, no concern

Ah, the fast food mentality
It’s fairly cheap
Hell, sometimes free!
Easy to eat and throw away
The drive-thru opens every day

It must be so sublime
To have a guilt free mind
That makes everything taste fine
And hardly waste a dime

So how do you know
Who’s a Fast Food Gigolo?
Sometimes they’re hard to spot
But experience can help a lot
I wish I could follow
my own advice
Skip burgers and shakes
And try caviar on ice

Fuckabilly Circus

2009-08-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

It's a Fuckabilly Circus
They work us and work us
Never meaning to hurt us
As long as it's courteous

Is it a Devil's playground
Being on the rebound
Oh to be out of bounds
Silence can be a wonderful sound

Can you deny about the lies
Were they mine? I can't comply
Until I try
To utterly say
I wish things could have gone
another way.

What did Jessica Rabbit Say?

2009-08-13T15:48:00.001-07:00

I'm not that bad,
I'm just drawn that way?

I'm not depressed,
I just write that way.

Depressed at times,
Just not today.......

The Cellar

2009-08-13T14:38:00.001-07:00

Ok...wrote this a couple of months ago. I went to church and the message was about the storms in our lives. This was my take. I have a friend who wrote a song based on this diatribe, which is included at the bottom.

When I was very young (5/6), my Dad woke me up and brought all three kids into the back yard to look at this incredible lightening storm. He told me not to be afraid and that what I was experiencing was a beautiful thing. He was teaching me to not be afraid of the storm. And, for the most part, I learned my lesson. Or so I thought.

These days…….storms scare the hell out of me. Life scares the hell out of me. Everyone has to weather storms. It’s a true sign of character that determines how you conduct yourself when the clouds come in. Do you run into the fruit cellar the minute a rain drop falls on your nose? Or, do you look up at the sky and give gratitude that the rain will revive the earth and give promise for a better tomorrow?

For some reason, the cellar door looks ominous yet inviting to me. I can open it up and step into a safe, dark place where no one can touch or hurt me. I am invisible to all. Now that I’m essentially living in a cellar, I realize that it’s not the lightening or the people that hurt me the most. It’s the isolation. And I don’t look up to the sky with gratitude. I look down with despair.

Destiny on the horizon.
Bleak and dark?
Many more storms to come?
Has God been impolite
Telling me to Shut Up
And get on with it?

Maybe I can come out of the cellar, open up an umbrella and take my chances. I can smell the air after the rain – clean, new and free of debris. And if I'm lucky, maybe I can find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

The Song - The Cellar
These days
Storms scare the hell out of me
These days
Life scares the hell out of me

Everyone has to weather storms.
It’s a true sign of character that determines
how you conduct yourselfwhen the clouds come in.
Do you run into the cellar
the minute a drop of rain falls on your nose?
Or do you look up at the sky with gratitude
That the rain will renew the earth

The cellar door looks ominous yet inviting
It opens into a safe, dark place
Where nothing and no one can hurt me.

Now I’m living in a cellar
Where people and lightening
Can’t hurt me
But the isolation does.

I don’t look up to the sky with gratitude.
I look down with despair.

Destiny on the horizon?
Or more storms to come.
God’s been impolite
Says to get on with it.
“Come out of the cellar and take your chances.”

The Treasure Trove of Trash

2009-08-13T10:20:00.000-07:00

This is what I wrote to my friend back in June '09 regarding present circumstances. Sorting through things....it's hard to know what to keep....to know what is truly valuable.

We accumulate so many things during our lives.
Sand in a bottle
Ashes in an urn
Joy in the heart
Regrets in the soul

What do we throw away?
What do we keep?
Sand in the bottle?
A special vacation. A perfect moment 15 years ago.
Now, what is it but a bunch of dirt in a glass container?

Ashes in an urn
A loved one to keep close?
But it can’t throw ball, cook a Thanksgiving dinner or fetch a stick

So what are these things worth? They’re trash. Right?

For me, it’s a treasure trove of trash.
It helps keep me grounded as
to what is important in my life. I
t helps me to retain memory and, in
essence, love.

So, even though it may consist of dirt and ashes,
it is important to me.
It is part of my life.

If we are lucky,
most of us have had our share of joy in life.
But,it’s not tangible.

Joy in the heart is not defined by the objects we possess.
And, the true definition is not the same for all.
Is true joy a lie?
No, it’s just elusive at times.
We have skewed expectations.

When times are down, however,
it’s hard to cling onto the joy in the heart.
We dig through the trash,
and even a bulldozer can’t clear the debris.
It’s immense and it’s deep.
And unfortunately, it accumulates.

Which brings me to regrets of the soul
from places that cannot easily be reached.
Anyone without regrets either is
a psychopath or is extremely unlucky.

Regrets lead to soul searching.
Regrets lead to growth.
So, what do I throw away, what do I keep?
I think I’ll keep the bulldozer at bay…..at least for today.

Playing the Game?

2009-08-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

There’s a reason
People should play fair
But..........
For the most part,
they don't care

By the book or
Buy the book
Either way
People cook the books

A sense of morality
and civilized rules
What are we talking about
Everyone is fooled.

Relationships are games
without a doubt
And it's fun to play
Until the clock runs out

When it's finally over
And the dust clears
Dodge the goal post on the ground
Nobody cheers

Can I avoid the riots
Or should I escape
The collapsing bleachers
Inevitable destruction in the wake?

The Buildings of my View

2009-08-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

Nothing new under the sun
The times I feel most lonely
I'm usually with someone.

Or, surrounded by strangers
People I'll never know
Don't even want to say hello

Just an observation
While walking past Dart Station
Through downtown Dallas
On a Tuesday night
Adding to my loneliness?
Such a lonely plight
Too much city
I feel internal pity

I felt a sense of loss
Walking from Central and Ross
To the grassy knoll
Feeling empty
Not whole

I stare at the Dallas skyline
Never venturing on the streets
I read the papers and watch TV
Reporters covering beats
Who wants to be part of an internet byline?
A death in the city doesn’t get headlines.

Do I embrace life or insist on sadness?
Do I look to the east for a clue?
Do I envision the sunset through the buildings of my view?

It's hard walking the streets alone
But I need to feel the downtown vibe
And not be so scared of what's there to offer
Not be afraid to be alive

Some Would Say (Also known as my opinion on the Republican view of Healthcare)

2009-08-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

Some would say
The Darwinian approach is in full activation

It’s not about health, wealth,
clout, mouth, sway, disarray,
mainstay, gay, not gay

Should people die?
Of course!
That’s the natural progress of life

Should they suffer?
What is life but suffering

Should the government be put into motion to stop it?
The suffering….yes. The Dying?

Well….we all know that Death takes a holiday occasionally
But it never comes to good ends.

Face to Face with Reality

2009-08-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

God I've made some terrible mistakes in my life.

When I think about the things I've done?
How I've reacted?
What did I become?

How could I be so stupid?
How did I submit?
It was evil and enclosing
I just finally quit

Beating is the easy route
Practiced many times
Bruises all too deep to heal
Couldn't see the signs

If I could go back in time, to the way things used to be,
what would or could I change? Tough question not easily answered.
Tough ones rarely are.

It's easy to romanticize about things from the past.
Recapturing a perfect moment
A kiss?
A look?
A friendly gesture?

I can mix up the order and change the words.
I can be completely
Right and Justified about all my actions.
I answer to no one.

And then it happens.
The cruel reality.
The outcome is always the same.
And I'm NOT favored.
It doesn't go my way
- again and again and again.

And I get this terrifyingly awful feeling
that passes from my head to my toes.
Limb to limb

I'm face to face with myself
I don't like what I see
Looking at the way things are
not the way I wished they could be

Testing....One, Two, Three

2009-07-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally decided to write my first blog at the encouragement of my brother Mark. I’ve named it The Happy and the Sad because that’s what I write about. Although, I must admit that I usually write more when I’m sad.
I guess I’m not sad right now. So I’ll say adieu. I just wanted to get set up. Much more later.